facing challenges
Whenever I have taken any leadership type of action I can be
sure that for some time to come I will be struggling with whether it was the
right thing to do. I will undoubtedly feel down one day and glad I did it the
next. Even though this always happens, I cannot seem to stop myself. If some
issue comes up that challenges my beliefs, I feel compelled to let my point of
view be known. Then I regret having ever opened my mouth. I often regret making
certain comments in meetings and taking a position on issues that are
contentious, but I cannot help myself. When there is a lack of perspective on
important issues we discuss in team meetings, I cannot just let it go. Whether
I’m right or wrong we should have discussion and more thought on important
issues that shape our work environment and the school environment. It takes a
toll. The more you push, the greater the guilt and anxiety.
I have also felt the sting of a damaged reputation, sometimes earned, but most often fueled by fear of change. Something said to an individual or stated in a meeting will eventually get around and mutate into something totally different. Although, at this point I don’t seem to care much about my reputation, I do sense the isolation and loneliness that can occur when my point of view is misrepresented. It’s bad enough when you come to a new school and you are trying to fit in. Combine that with unpopular beliefs and values that have to be expressed and you will feel the isolation.
I have never stayed in a work environment long enough to run the risk of cooptation. Sometimes I do wish I could have stayed in a place long enough to have established strong bonds and a sense of security in knowing where I stand, but that would most often mean some type of compromise. I actually look forward to starting over again in new places, meeting new people, and learning more than I would have had I stayed in the same place for an extended period of time.
What I fear most is the possibility of frustration and burnout. I have chosen to move from school to school to avoid frustration and burnout, but it is one of the perils of teaching in general. I feel myself becoming frustrated with the overall climate surrounding education. I am frustrated with the lack of depth to the discussions about education policy. What creates the most frustration is the lack of structure and communication that keeps teachers uninformed and fragmented. This prevents the type of cooperation and collaboration that could turn an average school into a great place for students and teachers. Part of the frustration also lies in the need to become a better teacher, but a feeling that the structures needed for that to occur are missing. Teachers learn best in groups just like most students do. We need feedback for reflection and an honest critique about what we do, not just in the form of a random evaluation but as ongoing, constructive capacity building experiences with peers.
I have also felt the sting of a damaged reputation, sometimes earned, but most often fueled by fear of change. Something said to an individual or stated in a meeting will eventually get around and mutate into something totally different. Although, at this point I don’t seem to care much about my reputation, I do sense the isolation and loneliness that can occur when my point of view is misrepresented. It’s bad enough when you come to a new school and you are trying to fit in. Combine that with unpopular beliefs and values that have to be expressed and you will feel the isolation.
I have never stayed in a work environment long enough to run the risk of cooptation. Sometimes I do wish I could have stayed in a place long enough to have established strong bonds and a sense of security in knowing where I stand, but that would most often mean some type of compromise. I actually look forward to starting over again in new places, meeting new people, and learning more than I would have had I stayed in the same place for an extended period of time.
What I fear most is the possibility of frustration and burnout. I have chosen to move from school to school to avoid frustration and burnout, but it is one of the perils of teaching in general. I feel myself becoming frustrated with the overall climate surrounding education. I am frustrated with the lack of depth to the discussions about education policy. What creates the most frustration is the lack of structure and communication that keeps teachers uninformed and fragmented. This prevents the type of cooperation and collaboration that could turn an average school into a great place for students and teachers. Part of the frustration also lies in the need to become a better teacher, but a feeling that the structures needed for that to occur are missing. Teachers learn best in groups just like most students do. We need feedback for reflection and an honest critique about what we do, not just in the form of a random evaluation but as ongoing, constructive capacity building experiences with peers.
